You're As Short As A Hobbit
by stellamucca
Summary: chapter 7 is up Five teens end up in Middle Earth. How will they affect the quest of the Ring? Will Middle Earth ever be the same again? Read and find out. R
1. Prologue

A/N: Hah. Ok. First of all I will warn you, there most likely will be characters that are very OOC please forgive me and don't kill me, but it's my story and I'm allowed to.  Ok. In case you might get confused here's characters that will appear in this fic (not including those from LOTR) and nicknames since I have a habit of calling them by several names (though you could probably figure this out on your own)  Phillip (Flip), Alice (Malice, Ducky), Jennifer (Jen, Kat, etc.), Lindsay (Lindz, Sheep), Kassi (IT), and Katie (Kowe, Moo).  There may be others randomly appearing, but I haven't decided yet. Hope you enjoy! 

Disclaimer:  I don't own any of the characters from LOTR (nor do I own the other characters, they are my friends. The only character I own is Katie (ME).

"someone talking"    ::action::    ~thoughts~   (author's note)

You're As Short As A Hobbit

Prologue

By Stellamucca

            Noise echoed through the woods as six very loud and very hyper teens walked along enjoying the scenery, or more appropriately annoying each other.

            "Na," Kassi and Lindz both chorused in unison as they walked like demented dinosaurs.

            Katie gave them a weird look once again. ~Am I really related to her?~  she thought to herself. ::sigh:: Realizing she was lagging behind again she ran to catch up to the others.

            "Where exactly are we going?" Phillip asked the three girls who were walking beside him.

            "To the top of the hill," Jen replied.

            "Why?"

            "Because it's pretty," Katie stated flatly.

            Phillip looked over at her and said, "Stop talking, you're short."

            Jen and Malice both laughed as Katie stuck her tongue out at him.

            They continued walking when suddenly Malice and Katie stopped dead in their tracks.  When Jen and Flip realized they were no longer being followed by the other two, they stopped and looked back.

            "What's that?" Jen asked walking back to where the other two girls stood.

            "It's nothing," Alice said, "it's just… black."

            Kassi realized everyone had stopped and turned to see what they were talking about.  When she saw the large blackness, she walked back to where they were.

            "I wonder what it does?" Katie asked as she picked up a stick and quickly threw the stick towards the nothingness.  It devoured the sick and suddenly the five teens standing near the thing were pulled into it, and it disappeared.

            Lindz looked around confused.  "Where did you go?" she yelled as loudly as she could.  "Kassi! Katie! Jen! Phillip! Alice!" she stopped to listen.  "Where are you guys? This isn't funny! Where'd you go?"  ::sigh::  She continued walking.  "You guys better not have gotten lost!  And you better not have left me here!" she yelled once again.  "Ehh… stupids leaving me.  I will find them and then… mwahaha!"  She ran off into the woods searching for her five lost companions.

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ok. I want 5 reviews to continue ok? So go REVIEW!!! Weeee! 


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: ok. I know I said that I wasn't going to update until I got 5 reviews, but well this story is too much fun to write… so yeah. At first I was just writing 'cause I thought it would be funny. Now, I'm writing for myself. So, here's the first chapter.  Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from LOTR. If I did own LOTR then I would steal the hobbits so I would always be tall. (well if I owned them, I wouldn't have to steal them… I would make sure they were always around… yeah that's it)

"Talking"   ::action:: ~thinking~  (author's note)

You're as Short as a Hobbit

Chapter 1

By Stellamucca

            Frodo was walking through the woods with Sam when suddenly a stick flew out of nowhere and hit him in the head.

            "Oww! Sam, why did you throw a stick at me? Frodo asked rubbing his head.

            "I didn't throw no stick, Mr. Frodo, honest I didn't," Sam said.

            As soon as he finished speaking, five people were thrown out in front of them and landed on the ground.

            "Ow… that hurt," Malice said as she stood up, not noticing the two hobbits that had very confused looks on they're faces.

            Phillip stood and brushed the dirt off his pants, "Where are we?" he asked.

            "You're in the Shire," Frodo stated.

            "Who said that?" Phillip looked around but failed to see the hobbit that stood over a foot shorter than he did.

            Katie stood up and turned toward the direction from where the voice came and squeaked, "A Hobbit!"  She ran over to Frodo.  "Hi! I'm Katie. You're Frodo aren't you?"

            "Umm… yes. My name is Frodo, but how did you know?" he asked, more confused than he had been to begin with.

            "Oh, I guessed," Katie lied, not wanting to tell him he was in a book.

            Kassi looked around, "hey, what happened to Lindz?" she asked the other four.

            "I dunno."

            "Haven't seen her since you both said 'Na'."

            "I ate 'er?"

            "Maybe she got left behind."

            "Hmm… maybe. Oh well."  Kassi said as she helped Jen up.

            "Well, we need to get going," Frodo said as he started walking, "Come on, Sam."

            "Wait, Frodo," Malice said.  "Can we come with you?"

            Frodo looked at the five people standing there.  They were all taller than him, however one was only slightly taller then he.  All were wearing very odd clothing, and one of them had purple hair.  "I don't even know your names, with the exception of Katie."

            "I'm Alice."

            "I'm Phillip."

            "My name's Jen."

            "Kassi."

            "Well, I still don't really know who you are," Frodo hesitated, "but I suppose you may come with us."  ~Maybe Gandalf will know where these odd people came from.~

            "Yay! Hobbits!"  Katie shouted and hugged them.  ~Finally someone shorter than me~

            Frodo and Sam looked at each other and then at the group of humans in front of them.  ~I don't think Frodo aught to have let them come with us.  They are very odd humans.~  Sam thought to himself.

            "Alright come on then," Frodo said as he readjusted his pack and began walking.

            The five tag-alongs followed the two hobbits through the woods quietly for a short while.  The woods were peaceful and quiet until suddenly Kassi spoke up, "Where are we going anyways?"

            "To Bree," Jen said, receiving an odd look from the hobbits.

            "To the Inn of the Prancing Pony," Malice said, the Halflings looking even more confused.

            "To meet Gandalf," Katie added.

            Frodo looked at the three curiously, "How did you know?"

            "We uhh…" Katie began.

            "We guessed," Alice quickly said.

            Frodo looked at her in disbelief, "You are good guessers," he stated.

            They walked for some time, Frodo and Sam quietly talking to each other, and their five companions joking and being stupid as they always did, when suddenly they realized they were in a cornfield.  It was very difficult to remain together and soon Frodo and Sam were separated.

            Sam began to worry, "Mr. Frodo! Mr. Frodo!" he shouted frantically trying to find his master.

            Frodo stepped out of the corn where Sam was.  "What is it, Sam?" he asked, at that time the five teens walked up behind them.

            "My Precciousss…" Kassi hissed in Frodo's ear.

            "Ahh! Gollum!"  Frodo shouted turning around as fast as he could. Kassi laughed evilly as Frodo tried to catch his breath from being scared.

            Frodo glared at the girl, "Come on, Sam."  They began walking, closely followed by the teens.

            Suddenly two younger hobbits appeared from the corn, running into Frodo and Sam, knocking them to the ground.

            The youngest hobbit looked down at ho he had run into and then over at the hobbit he had been with, "Look, Merry. It's Frodo Baggins."

            "Hello, Frodo," the hobbit on top of Sam said as he was pushed off.

            "Get off him," Sam said pushing the Halfling off his master and helping him up, "are you alright, Mr. Frodo?"

            "Yes, Sam, I'm fine." Frodo replied as he brushed the dirt off him.

            "Merry! Pip!" Katie squealed. ~ More short people! I'm Tall!~  She ran over and hugged the confused hobbits.

            "Who are they?" Pip asked with his awesome accent.

            "We found them," Frodo replied.

            Merry bent down to pick up the vegetables he dropped, and handed then to Alice who was standing nearby. "Hold these." He said bending down to gather the rest.

            Sam looked at Merry and Pip, who were both holding a pile of vegetables. "You've been into farmer Maggot's crop!" he shouted as the sound of dogs barking and an angry farmer grew closer. 

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yeah I know this chap. didn't really have a good ending but I just stopped where I stopped writing today.  Ok as of now, I plan to update regularly like every day, every other day. Whatever. Just depends on how much I write each day. Hope you enjoyed! Please review!


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Yes, you get another chapter and it's only been what 2 days? Don't you feel special? Although… no one's reading this… so it doesn't matter :( no one reviews how sad. Hmm that's ok though. At first, I was writing this for you cause I thought people might enjoy it, but seeing as how the only review I got said they hate it well… now im writing it for me and if you guys like it that's awesome. If you don't I could care less. This is now simply to provide me with entertainment while im at school. So I hope you do enjoy. 

"You're as Short as a Hobbit"

Chapter 2

By Stellamucca

            "Run!" Jen said as she took off running, followed closely by the others.  She reached the edge of a steep hill and stopped, but soon the other four teens and then the four hobbits ran into her, sending the nine down the hill.  They landed in a large pile at the bottom.

            "Ow… I think I broke something," Merry whined as he pulled a broken carrot out from under him.

            "Mushrooms!" Pippin said joyously as he scrambled over to the fungus with Sam and Merry close behind.

            Frodo stood and brushed the dirt off him as he walked up and down the road.

            "Get off me, you oaf," Kassi said, pushing Katie off her.  Kassi stood and looked at Jen who looked very squashed.  ~Hah. Almost like dog piling in the church bus.~ she thought to herself.

            "Help me," Katie told Kassi.  She helped Katie stand and looked over at a very worried Frodo.

            Phillip stood, brushed the dirt off and walked to Jen.  "Are you alright?" he asked her.

            "Ehh…" Jen moaned.  Phillip and Katie helped Jen up.  "That's why I wasn't on the bottom of the dog pile at lads to leaders," Jen stated.

            Somehow, Alice had managed to stop from falling over the hill and was now standing at the bottom, looking up and down the road.  "I think we should get off the road," she said, but was ignored.

            Frodo was still looking very worried and suddenly shouted, "Get off the road!" and ran to hide behind a tree.

            The three hobbits grabbed what mushrooms they could and quickly hid with Frodo, while the other five travelers hid by another tree.

            As soon as they were hidden, a horse slowly walked up and stopped beside the tree where the Hobbits hid.  The rider dismounted and fell to his knees, wagging his head back and forth as if he was looking for something.

            Frodo sat very still, but soon he could feel the ring calling out to him.  He slowly drew it out of his pocket and was about to put it on when Sam stopped him.

            The sniffing stopped; Merry threw the bag of mushrooms.  The rider screamed and mounted his horse and left quickly.

            The Hobbits ran from their hiding place followed by the humans.  When they felt they were far enough away, they stopped.  Several collapsed to the ground to rest, and Frodo leaned against a tree gasping for breath.

            Merry walked up behind Frodo, "That black rider was looking for something, or someone," Merry said, "Frodo?"

            Frodo stared at nothing for a moment and then turned to face Merry, "I must leave the Shire," he said sadly.  "Sam and I must get to Bree."

            "Buckle berry Ferry, follow me," Merry said as he took off running.

            Everyone followed close behind him.  Suddenly a piercing scream was heard; a black rider appeared in front of them.  Dodging under and around the rider, the group continued running towards the ferry.

            All but Frodo had made it to the ferry and had begun untying the rope.  Frodo ran towards the ferry with the rider right behind him.  The ferry had already floated several feet away when Frodo reached the dock.

            "Run, Frodo, Run," Katie shouted and laughed slightly. (Run, Forest, run)

            "Jump!" the hobbits shouted.

            "Frodo took a running leap off the dock and landed on top of Alice and Jen on the ferry.  The black rider stopped his horse quickly and his scream pierced the night.

            "Ow," Jen said as she pushed Frodo off her.  ~Why do I always get landed on?~ 

            "How far to the nearest crossing?" Frodo asked anxiously as he watched the rider turn and follow several others.

            "Brandywine Bridge, 20 miles," Merry responded.

            Katie suddenly broke into song, "Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down, like a bridge ov-"

            Kassi put her hand over Katie's mouth to get her to shut up.  "Don't sing," she commanded, glaring at her older (yet shorter) sister.  She removed her hand and sat down. 

            The raft suddenly bumped into the shore causing Jen to be thrown to the ground, and so was everyone else who all landed on to of her, except for Alice who once again escaped the pile of people and stepped out onto the shore.

            Everyone slowly got up and brushed the dirt off them.  Jen lay on the ground twitching.  Suddenly, she stood up and shouted, "If I get landed on one more time, I'll implode!"

            The hobbits looked at her, very frightened they slowly backed away.  "Don't make eye contact," Kassi whispered in Pippin's ear, "It will only provoke her."

            Pip tried his hardest not to look at her but he made eye contact with the scary Jen.  "Eep!" he squealed, "Don't eat me!" he shouted, hiding behind Kassi.

            "What?" Jen asked confused. She shrugged.

            Phillip got bored and started walking.

            "Where are you going?" Merry asked.

            "Well, Frodo has to get to Bree.  We should get going," he said as he continued walking.

            "Uhh… Bree is that way, " Merry pointed west of the direction Flip was heading.

            "Oh," Phillip said.  ~Well, how was I supposed to know? I've never been in middle earth.~

            "Come on, he's right, we've got to get Frodo to Bree," Merry said.  Everyone began walking with Merry and Pip in the lead.  They walked for some time in silence.

            "This is it," Merry announced.  "We're leaving the Shire."

            Sam looked at him sadly.  ~How much further from home do I have to go?~ he thought to himself.

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I would still really like it if you review. If you review and you don't like this at least give me some constructive criticism that I can learn from. I actually prefer that to "I love this fic update soon" Please though, don't just tell me you hate this fic and then not give me any reason why, and no suggestions as to how I can fix it.  Hey, this is only my second fic I've started; I have a lot to learn.  So… hit that little button down there and review (it'll make me happy)

^-^

~Kat~


	4. Chapter 3

Well hello all, I haven't updated for quite some time have I? sorry about that. I've been busy with school. Anyways. Here's the next chapter. I know its short, but I had cut it off there because that's where I stopped writing that day and I was planning on typing it up that night and posting it, but I didn't… so yeah. Don't worry the next chapter will be coming along soon, I have it written just not typed up. So here is the next chapter, hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings.  If I did, I wouldn't be broke. 

You're as Short as a Hobbit

Chapter 3

By Stellamucca

            The group had walked for some time when they finally reached Bree.  It was surrounded by a large wall and had a gate, which was watched by an old man.  They ran across the road to the gate and Frodo knocked on the door.

            The gatekeeper opened a small window in the top and looked out, when he saw a girl standing there he asked, "What are you doing out at this time of night?" ~Wow, she's dressed oddly.~

            "We're going to the inn," Malice said.  The keeper then closed the small window and opened the gate.

            "Hobbits!" he exclaimed, "Five hobbits! And four youths," he looked puzzled.

            "Excuse me," Katie said, "but I am not a hobbit. I'm not even close to the height of a hobbit, Im almost a foot taller than they are. And, I don't have big hairy feet."

            "Who are you and what business do you have here in Bree?" he gatekeeper asked, ignoring Katie's ranting.

            "I am Mr. Underhill, we wish to stay at the in, our business is our own." Frodo answered flatly.

            "I meant ye no harm, It's my job to ask questions at this time of night," he said as he stepped aside allowing the group to walk through.  ~I still think she's a hobbit.~ he thought as he watched them walk away.

            Katie grumbled to herself, "A hobbit. Heh. I'm not a hobbit."

            "You're as short as a hobbit," Phillip said.

            "I AM NOT! I'm over a foot taller than they are!" she shouted.  Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pip looked over at her.

            "Are you saying there's something wrong with being a hobbit?" Pippin asked her.

            "No, not at all, it's just… I get made fun of for being short," she said as she glared at Jen, Flip, and Kassi. (The instigators of the short jokes)

            They stopped when they saw a sign with a picture of a pony hanging over a door.  Opening the door, they walked inside.  The inn was full of all kinds of people.  Frodo stood at the front of the group and tried to get the innkeeper's attention.  "Excuse me," he said, trying to be over heard above the noise of the inn.

            A moment later, the innkeeper was looking down at the hobbits.  "Good evening little masters, if its accommodations you want, we have some nice cozy hobbit size rooms available Mr.?"

            "Underhill.  My name's Underhill," Frodo replied.  "We're friends of Gandalf, can you tell him we've arrived?"

            "Gandalf… hmm,"  he thought for a moment, "Oh! Gandalf, elderly chap, big beard, pointy hat.  Not seen him in six months."

            Frodo looked very worried and turned to the others.  "What are we going to do?" he whispered quietly.  The other hobbits shrugged.  "I guess we'll just wait for him." He said sadly.

            The travelers then joined the group of people in the main room of the inn.  Sam and Frodo sat quietly at a table while Merry and Pippin enjoyed talking to the locals. The five teens sat at another table talking.  Everyone stared at them because they looked very out of place in the inn. 

            "Hey, that's Aragorn," Katie whispered quietly to Kassi who sat at beside her, as she pointed to a man sitting in the corner.

            "I know," Kassi said, "I've seen the movie and I'm reading the book."

            "The books are better," Katie stated, "Books are always better, most of the time."

            Sudden silence ensued between the teens, as they heard Pippin beginning to talk about Bilbo.  When Frodo realized that Pippin was talking about his uncle and that soon everyone would know that Frodo was a Baggins, he immediately jumped upon the table and began to sing (this part is from the book not the movie, 'cause the book is a billion times better)

            "There us an inn, a merry old inn

                  beneath an old grey hill,

            And there they brew a beer so brown

            That the Man in the Moon himself came down

                  one night to drink his fill.

            The ostler has a tipsy cat

                 that okays a five-stringed fiddle;

                 and up and down he runs his bow,

            Now squeaking high, now purring low,

                now sawing in the middle.

            The landlord keeps a little dog

                 that is mighty fond of jokes;

            When there's good cheer among the guests,

            He cocks and ear at all the jests

                 and laughs until he chokes.

            They also keep a horned cow

                 as proud as any queen;

            But music turns her head like ale,

            And makes her wave her tufted tail

                 and dance upon the green.

            And O! the rows of silver dishes

                 and the store of silver spoons!

            For Sunday there's a special pair,

            And these they polish up with care

                 on Saturday afternoons.

            The Man in the Moon was drinking deep,

                 and the cat began to wail;

            A dish and a spoon on the table danced,

            The cow in the garden madly pranced,

                 and the little dog chased his tail.

            The Man in the Moon took another mug,

                 and then rolled beneath his chair;

            And there he dozed and dreamed of ale,

            Till in the sky the stars were pale,

                 and dawn was in the air.

            Then the ostler said to his tipsy cat:

                 'The white horses of the Moon,

            They neigh and champ their silver bits;

            But their master's been and drowned his wits,

                 and the Sun'll be rising soon!'

            So the cat on his fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,

                 a jig that would wake the dead:

            He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,

            While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon:

                 'It's after three!' he said.

            They rolled the Man slowly up the hill

                 and bundled him into the Moon,

            While his horses galloped up in rear,

            And the cow came capering like a deer,

                 and a dish ran up with the spoon.

            Now quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle;

                 the dog began to roar,

            The cow and the horses stood on their heads;

            The guests all bounded from their beds

                 and danced upon the floor.

            With a ping and a pang the fiddle-strings broke!

                 the cow jumped over the Moon,

            And the little dog laughed to see such fun,

            And the Saturday dish went off at a run

                 with the silver Sunday spoon.

            The round Moon rolled behind the hill,

                 as the Sun raised up her head.

            She hardly believed her fiery eyes;

            For though it was day, to her surprise

                 they all went back to bed!"

            When he finished everyone cheered and made him have another drink, as they thought drunkenness was the reason for the random outburst.  He began the song again and when he sang, "the cow jumped over the moon," he leapt into the air and came crashing down in a tray of drinks and then fell to the floor.

            "Oh, here he goes, silly hobbit," Katie said quietly to no one in particular.

            As Frodo hit the floor, the ring flew into the air and landed on Frodo's finger.  A gasp went though the room for where Frodo had been there was now nothing.  The hobbits all looked at each other with horrified faces.  ~Oh! Now he's done it.~ Pippin thought to himself.

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hmm… that was a rather dull chapter. im sorry. ill try to make the next on better. Don't forget to push that button down there and review please! ^^

Thanks to Kayleigh-talitha, xXStarGazerXx, Jen, sado-masochist wiccan, anime princess, and rainbowspy for reviewing! Yay you're awesome! ^^


	5. Chapter 4

Sorry about taking so long to update. I've had this chapter written since before school was out, but I've been rather busy this summer.  I was gone for 3 weeks last month and the week before that had been spent preparing for a mission trip and before that was work camp… and i just didn't have time to type this up. So… here you go. It's finally typed and posted. I hope you don't all want to kill me now because it's later than I thought it would be. On to chapter 4!! 

Disclaimer: blahblah… I don't own LOTR… blah blah… 

You're as Short as a Hobbit

Chapter 4

By Stellamucca

            Frodo quickly scrambled under a table and took the Ring off.  A strong hand suddenly grasped Frodo's jacket and pulled him quickly to his feet.  Keen grey eyes stared strait into Frodo's very frightened eyes.   "You draw far too much attention to yourself Mr. Underhill." spat the man who had picked Frodo up.  He then pushed Frodo up a set of stairs and into a dark room, whose only light came from a candle, the fireplace and a small window.  He dropped Frodo on the floor, walked to the candle, and put it out. The room grew darker and Frodo stood up, brushing himself off. 

            "Who are you?" he asked. He was rather frightened but tried not to show it.

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            Out in the main room everyone was talking about what had happened.  The three (or four if you're the gatekeeper of Bree) hobbits and the five (or four) teens had gathered as soon as Frodo disappeared and were now discussing the matter.

            "We've got to find Frodo," Pip said.

            "That strider guy took him up the stairs over there," Merry said pointing to the stairs.

            "We've got to save him!" Sam shouted quietly as he grabbed Merry and Pippin and headed for the stairs. 

            "Not like he really needs saved," said Katie quietly.  She followed the three (other) hobbits, as did the others.

            Kassi reached in her pocket, pulled out a bright pink sharpie, and uncapped it. "Just in case Frodo does need saved." she smiled and laughed maniacally as she thought about how much fun it would be to color Strider's face bright pink.

            The group bolted up the stairs and paused before entering the room.  Katie discussed the plan of attack with the three (other) hobbits.  "Ok. So first we ::whisper whisper:: and then I ::mumble:: the Kassi will ::whisper whisper:: and after that Jen can ::whisper:: then Alice comes from behind and  ::mutter:: and the Phillip can finish ::whisper mumble:: Ok?"

            They all looked at her rather confused. She straightened up and said, "Or we could just walk in and ask him if he would like to join us for tea."

            Pippin then piped up and with his awesome accent said, "I like the second on better, I'm hungry."  Merry then smacked him in the back of the head. "Oww…" Pip said rubbing his head.

            "Ok. Ready?" Katie asked.

            Kassi pulled three more sharpies out and grinned evilly as she passed two to Jen, "Ready."

            They flung open the door and stepped in.  Suddenly a spotlight appeared on them.

            "Prepare for trouble," said Merry.

            "And make it octupal," Pippin said.

            "Wait a second, is octupal a word?" asked Sam.

            "I dunno, the author made me say it," said Pip.

            "Well the author is stupid for making you say a made-up word"

            "Shh… she'll hear you," squeaked Pippin.

            ::Thundering voice is heard::

            "Too late," Pip said as he ran behind Alice.

            Now you must pay!"

            "Eeep!  I didn't mean to, honest I didn't!" Sam said trying to avoid being turned into anything "unnatural" as he would say.

            Suddenly all the hair on his head and feet fell off. "Oh no!  I'm bald!"  Kassi ran over to him and drew a bright pink smiley on his head.

            "Oh please, almighty author, please give me my hair back, my feet are getting cold."

            ::Thundery voice:: "Hmm… well, I suppose you may have your hair back. But don't do it again!"

            Hair suddenly reappeared back on Sam's feet and head; however, the hair on his head was now bright pink.  Merry and Pip burst out laughing.  Kassi grinned evilly at the work she had done.

            Sam crossed his arms, "What's so funny?" he demanded as he watched Merry and Pippin rolling on the floor, laughing and pointing at him.

            "Your –hahah –hair- hahaha…" Pippin burst out laughing uncontrollably again and was unable to complete his sentence. 

            Alice walked over to Sam and played with his hair. Then she said, "The hobbit wanted a change."

            "Oo! Pretty, pink hair! I want some too!" Jen said as she petted Sam's head. 

            "What?!?" Sam shouted. "My hair is PINK?" he quickly brought his hands up to his head as if to block the bright pink mass from view.

            Frodo had stood there for some time trying to suppress his laughter but he could hold it no longer and began laughing so hard he cried. 

            Strider, who had stood there the entire time rather surprised at seeing the eight people burst into the room, now, had a slightly amused and confused look on his face. ~What are those kids doing here?~ he thought to himself as he watched the scene.

            "Stop laughing!" Sam shouted, "It's not funny!" he pulled the hood on his cloak up. "Oh, Author! I want my REGULAR hair back!" he was rather annoyed at having pink hair.  Then he remembered that the author had caused him to have no hair at all so he quickly added, "Please?" 

            The thundering voice was heard again, "First you insult me, then you want your hair back, once you have it back you want it to be the original color instead of this bright pretty pink. What next? Do you also want me to pick you up and put you in Mordor so you don't have to walk?!?"

            "Eeep! Please don't get angry. I just want my right hair back that's all," Sam squeaked ~Mordor? What's that author thinking? I'm not going to Mordor.~

            "Hmm… let me think about it a while," the author replied.  "I shall return when you begin to ignore your pink hair."

            "My hair…" Sam whimpered as he held his head.

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^^;  heh. Hope you enjoyed. The next chapter should be along really soon. Things have finally calmed down as bit right before school starts. Chapter 5 is already written just not typed yet.  Hopefully I'll get it typed and posted before we head to New York this weekend. If not, hopefully it will be up soon after we get home. Don't forget about that little review button down there. I still like reviews!

And thank you to Naomi Maxwell, Celtic Dawn Star, and xXStarGazerXx for reviewing!!!!  You rock my socks!!!


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: Why hello again. It's been a while hasn't it. So sorry that it has taken me this long to update I've had this written since the first part of July, but have not had the time to type it up, or rather the motivation. I'm going to go ahead and apologize now for the extreme silliness that is present in this chapter. I wrote this on the way to Kings Island and it is rather… uhh… stupid but you should read it anyway because I took my time to write this for you.  Just so you don't get confused anything in ( ) is an author's note… mostly just obnoxious comments from me because I was extremely hyper and slightly sarcastic at that time. Hope you all enjoy and thank you for putting up with my rambling.

Disclaimer: I own Lord of the Rings! I'm also the POPE!!!!

You're as Short as a Hobbit

Chapter 5

By Stellamucca

            "Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun…" Lindz hummed to herself as she darted around, hiding between trees.  
  
            Several days had gone by and each day Lindz went out to the woods to search for her lost friends. After a while, she found it rather amusing. Wearing her sunglasses, she would dart around suspiciously under the trees humming her own theme song.   
  
            "Dive!" Lindsay shouted as she flung herself to the ground. After lying there for several seconds, she lifted her head to look around. She quickly jumped up and began running again. A branch caught her sunglasses, knocking them from her face and onto the ground.  
  
            "My identity!" shouted Lindz as she covered her eyes with her hands and searched the ground for her glasses. When she found them, she quickly picked them up and put the back on. She continued through the woods, when suddenly she smelled something burning. The warmth from a fire was around her, but she could not find the source of the heat and smoke.  
  
            "Your hair!" screamed some random voice of the forest.   
  
            "Ahh!" Lindz cried as she looked up to see flames instead of her hair.  
  
            "Ooh! Roasted Marshmallows," said the voice. Out of nowhere (or maybe a tree), a squirrel appeared with a bag of marshmallows. It scampered up Lindz and perched upon her shoulder. The squirrel then pulled a stick out of thin air, placed a marshmallow on it and held it over Lindz's head.

            Lindsay was standing there rather confused by the squirrel, when opossums started charging towards her, teeth barred.  

            "Evil crackhead opossums!" the mysterious voice shouted as I broke in to maniacal laughter.

            The evil crackhead opossums then proceeded to chew Lindz's ankles.  One of the opossums backed away so it could get a running start to leap at her arm, but when it ran back towards her it veered and ran into a tree rendering it unconscious. (Notice they are evil crackhead opossums; it was high at the time and its judgment was impaired. _Don't do drugs!) _

            "We need reinforcements!  We've already lost one!" shouted to the head crackhead opossum. "Call the back up."

            A guitar was heard wailing in the background.  Lindsay quickly turned, sensing a presence behind her.

            "Aha! They have arrived quickly as usual," the opossum whispered.

            There stood a pyramid of bunnies, but these were no ordinary bunnies, they were (dramatic music) Ninja Bunnies.  Lindz stared at the bunnies slightly confuse (and kind of in pain, you know with the fire and her ankles being chewed). The bunnies then began to jump off the pyramid and charge towards the girl ninja style (flips and stuff).  One by one, the bunnies leaped at her.  Soon Lindz was engulfed by the evil crackhead opossums and ninja bunnies (the squirrel was still roasting the marshmallows).

            "Ah! Killer bunnies!" Lindz swatted at the rabbits with a rubber chicken (don't even ask me where the rubber chicken came from).

            The battle raged on (sure, it's a battle or maybe just some furry woodland creatures attacking her).  Suddenly the opossums and bunnies froze and the squirrel dropped his marshmallow on Lindz's head.  Complete silence fell upon the forest.  Then a thundering voice filled the forest.

                        "Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg 

                                 Thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul!"

            Once the voice stopped, there was silence once again.  Lindsay looked around the wood completely confused by what was going on.  Several moments passes in quiet with the occasional opossum knowing on Lindz's leg.

            Birds began to chirp as suddenly as the voice had come.  The sounds of the chirping were almost deafening.  "Chirp chirp tweet twitter chirp peep tweet chirp tweet chirp tweet tweet twitter peep chirp tweet!" ("Lindsay, this is your punishment for not liking Lord of the Rings!" is the translation. Yep, I speak bird).

            Peace fell on the forest as another bird fluttered gently down out of a tree to rest on her shoulder.  Then very quietly, it spoke.  "This is all punishment for disliking things before you have found whether you truly dislike them.  You claimed that you did not like Lord of the Rings; that it was stupid, but you had ever read the books and become part of that world.  You never watched the movies to at least have a taste of it and learn about it.  You judge before you know and so you are punished.  That is why you were left behind while your friends were taken to Middle Earth.  You will be given one year to give that world a fair chance, if you fail to do so, your friends will never be allowed to return to this world.  They will stay in Middle Earth forever."

            The bird then fluttered to a branch of a nearby tree and turned to her once more.  "One year. Go, read," and with those words it vanished in a puff of smoke and fire.

            Lindz looked around the area.  All of the opossums and bunnies had gone.  The fire on her head had gone out leaving her with a baldhead.  The squirrel sat on her shoulder scraping his last marshmallow off her head.  It then looked at her with his big grey eyes, gave a little squeak and scampered off into the woods.

            The girl opened and closed her mouth as if trying to say something, but no sound would come out.  She then sat on the ground, flopped backwards and knew no more of that day.

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Hope you enjoyed! I would like to thank my malice who reviewed!  Hope you all will take the time to review I love hearing from people. And if you have any ideas please let me know.  So review away!!!!! ^_^


	7. Chapter 6

A/N: Hey! Sorry! I know it has taken me forever to finally update, but school has been killing me. I have tons of homework all the time, and AP Biology was killing me. But all is well, I'm out of Bio and have a study hall now so my schedule is less hectic.  I was also running around like crazy with choir performances, but those are over for now. Christmas was great and I now have some time to spend writing.  Oh! You should all go see _The Return of the King if you haven't already. It rocks! I got to go see it on opening day. Yeah I skipped school to go see it. Oh well. Anyway. I hope you don't all hate me a lot for not updating sooner. Hope you enjoy the story!_

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings or any of the characters from it.  The only characters I own are Katie, Kassi, Phill, Jen, Alice, and Lindz. And I don't even really own them because they're all my friends… so… basically I own nothing and I'm a poor little kid that will someday become a starving writer… except not. 

You're as Short as a Hobbit

Chapter 6

By Stellamucca

Everyone stood staring at Sam.  He was now cursed with pink hair by the author.  Silence filled the room, and several minutes passed in quiet as Strider looked at each of the intruders in turn.  Finally, Peregrin broke the silence as he whispered to Merry, "Why did we come here?" Merry hit the back of his head for his stupidity and forgetfulness. (Aww… poor Pip)

Merry then turned to the others, "since our plan didn't work, shall we invite him for tea?"

"Sure."

"Ok."

"Why not?"

"I like tea."

"Can we have biscuits?" Katie asked.

"Oh, not biscuits," Jen replied.

"Fine, no biscuits. But lets ask him anyway," Malice said.

"Right," they all agreed at once.

Frodo and Aragorn were amused by the discussion at hand.  While Frodo was glad to see his friends, they were confusing him slightly.  

The eight intruders suddenly all turned toward Strider, "Would you like to join us for tea?" they all asked in unison. 

The ranger said nothing; he only stood staring at them. 

"Ok," said Phillip as he pulled a tea set out of his pocket and set it on a table.  Everyone then sat down at the table.  As they sat drinking their tea, Aragorn explained what the Black Riders were.

"They are the Nazgul, Ring wraiths, neither living nor dead," He said as he smoked his pipe.

Katie began coughing her head off.  Everyone looked at her as if she was crazy.  "Don't you know smoking is bad for you?" Katie asked Aragorn.  She did not give him time to answer as she jumped from her seat and grabbed his pipe from his hand.

"Give that back," Strider said extending his hand to receive the pipe.

"Nope. Not gonna do it," Katie said as she dumped the contents on the floor, stomped on it, and placed the pipe in her pocket.  "Smoking. Is. BAD!"

~Arg. I want my pipe! ~ Aragorn thought to himself as he turned to face the window.  Just then, he saw the Black Riders entering the inn.

"Dun Dun Dun!" Kassi said as the wraiths screamed.  She then proceeded to pull a black cloak out of thin air and put it on.  "I'm a wraith!" she said as she attacked Pippin who let out a shriek and fell to the floor, curled in a ball.  Kassi pulled the hood off her head and poked Pip.  He twitched slightly, then realizing he wasn't dead, stood up and dusted himself off.

Meanwhile, Aragorn continued to stare out the window.  ~I want my pipe.  I'm supposed to be sitting here smoking and looking like I'm deep in thought, but now I don't have my pipe and it's really aggravating!~

The hours of the night passed by slowly as one by one the company fell asleep.  Strider was the only one who did not sleep that night as he sat guarding the door.  The fire burned low when Aragorn woke the others.  Within a few moments the hobbits were up and readying their packs for the journey.  The rest of the company was somewhat harder to rouse.  Alice, Jen, and Phill were the easiest to rouse of the teens.  Aragorn received a Sharpie up his nose when he tried to wake Kassi.  As the ranger stood with a marker up his nose staring at the girl she jumped up happily and immediately began helping the Halflings.  Once he had removed the green sharpie from his nose, Aragorn walked over to where the last teen was sleeping.  

~That brat took my pipe! ~ Strider thought as he was about to wake the sleeping girl. Then suddenly he stopped.  ~My pipe, it's in her pocket! ~ Carefully, he reached for her pocket. ~ I want my pipe! I can't go leading people out into the wilderness without my pipe! ~ His hand was inches away from the pocket where the tip of his pipe was sticking out when he felt a hand across his face.

"I don't wanna go to school, mommy," she mumbled and rolled over.

"I'm not your mom, and you're not going to school," Strider said trying to wake her up.  "Get up, you brat, we must leave soon."

"No. I wanna sleep. Tengo sueño. Necesito dormer," Katie said, curling into a tight ball.

Aragorn glared at her.  ~First, she steals my pipe, and now she won't get up. ~

"Get up, you cow!" Kassi called to her sister, throwing a sharpie at her head.

"Sharpie!" Katie squealed as she jumped up to grab the pretty pink sharpie.  She received annoyed looks from everyone in the room, especially Aragorn.  "What?" she asked, staring at everyone, "I like pink."

Once all was made ready for the journey, and the hobbits had had a sufficient first breakfast, they set our.  After the attack of the ring wraiths the night before, the entire town was out to watch the group leave.  It was the oddest group the town had ever seen leave.  Not only were there four hobbits, but there were also the five kids all setting out with the ranger, Strider.

Less than an hour had passed when the hobbits stopped and started pulling out their pots and pans and food.  Strider looked at them strangely, "What are you doing?"

"Breakfast!" Pip said cheerfully as he continued to unpack food.

"You've already had breakfast," Strider said annoyed.

"One, yes, but what about second breakfast?" Pip asked.  At that, Strider walked away.

"I don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip," Merry said.

"But what about elevensies, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, supper; he knows about those doesn't he?" Pip asked sounding scarred.

"No he doesn't!" Kassi shouted, "And now you're going to starve!"

At that news, Pippin swooned and fell on top of Frodo. "Get off me," groaned Frodo as he shoved Pip.

Suddenly, two apples flew out of nowhere hitting Pip and Frodo on the head, rendering them both unconscious.  Sam and Merry just stood staring at their friends lying senseless on the ground.

Realizing no one was following him, Aragorn turned and walked back to where he rest of the party were standing.

"Pick them up, we must not linger here," the ranger said.

Sam and Merry walked over to Frodo and picked him up. "Someone else needs to get Pip," Merry said as they moved forward.

"And someone needs to lead Bill," Sam added.

Alice grabbed Bill's reigns and followed Strider, Merry, and Sam. Phill and Jen picked up the unconscious Pippin and started walking while Katie and Kassi picked up the forgotten packs and brought up the rear.

Three quarters of an hour had passed when Frodo woke up several minutes later Pip awoke.  Frodo and Pippin took their packs back and the party continued.

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Hope that was enjoyable. I know the ending really sucked, but I really just wanted to get this posted since its been forever.  I hope you will still take the time to review! Thanks to Sarah for reviewing! 


	8. Chapter 7

A/N: Once again, I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update. I've actually had this written for a long time, but I haven't had the chance to type it up and get it posted until now. I have to say, this is probably the longest chapter I've written so far so have fun! I now longer have any time because all spare time is sent at school with robotics. However, today there was no school due to snow, so I finally had a chance to get this up. I hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever owned Lord of the Rings or any of its characters. They belong to the brilliant JRR Tolkien.

You're as Short as a Hobbit

Chapter 7

By Stellamucca

It was nearing dark when they reached Weather top. Strider, Merry, Alice, and Jen went to the top of the lookout while the others remained behind to set up camp.

At the top where the tower had once stood, Merry, Alice, and Jen stood looking out at the surrounding country while Aragorn had a look around. Suddenly there were black shapes that looked like riders running along the ground. Aragorn pulled the three to the ground and lay flat peering over the edge of the hill.

"Oh great! They've probably seen us and we're all going to die," whispered Malice.

~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, the rest of the party was setting up camp at the base of the hill. Phillip and Pippin went to gather wood, while Sam, Frodo, and Kassi cleaned a space to camp and Katie kept lookout from a nearby tree.

"Look at all this dirt on the ground, we'll never be able to get it all cleaned before the others get back," Kassi said as she tried sweeping the ground with a branch. Frodo and Sam looked at each other then back at her again and laughed. 

Katie, who was still sitting in the tree, began to get impatient. Suddenly a squirrel ran across the ground, Katie grabbed a twig, threw it, and hit the squirrel directly on the head, knocking it unconscious. "I've got dinner!" Katie said to her companions who were still trying to get rid of all the dirt on the ground.

Within a few minutes, Phill and Pippin came by the tree. Once again, Katie grabbed a stick and threw it. She continued grabbing handfuls of twigs and leaves and anything else she could grab, including a sleeping squirrel, and threw it at all the two.

"Ahh! Possessed squirrel!" Pippin squeaked and ran away when the sleeping squirrel hit his head.

Phillip picked up the wood Pip had dropped and grabbed the unconscious squirrel and the sleeping squirrel that had scared Pip and followed him back towards the camp.

~~~~~~~~

Back on the top of the hill, Merry, Aragorn, Jen, and Malice were lying on the ground watching the Black figures in the distance. "We should go, we have lingered up here for far too long," Strider said quietly.

"If we can see everything for miles, then surely everything can see us as well," Alice said.

Once the black figures had disappeared, the four stood and quickly scrambled over the hill to where the others were. 

"Supper's ready," Sam said, holding up the two roasted squirrels.

"Eep!" Jen squeaked seeing the dead squirrels.

"Where's the brat?" Strider asked.

"She's in that tree keeping watch," Frodo said pointing to a tree that stood off a little ways. 

~I will get my pipe back if it's the last thing do.~ the ranger thought as he walked off towards the tree.

Katie saw the ranger approaching and very quickly climbed higher in the tree. She then grabbed a large branch, which happened to be broken off and threw it at strider. It hit his head and he fell to the ground. Katie then scrambled down the tree, walked over to the figure on the ground, and held the pipe over his head.

"Give me that pipe," strider said as he let into the air. Katie immediately shoved the pipe back into her pocket and skipped back to where everyone was eating.

"Need food," she said, grasping her stomach.

Sam handed her a plate of food and she quickly ate. Aragorn returned with a stick hanging out of his mouth. ~Well if I can't have my pipe, I can at least have a stick.~

The night wore on, and the company sat around the fire while Aragorn told stories and sang of things long passed.

Before long, they heard a piercing cry. Pippin shivered in fear. "Stay together near the fire," Strider said as he stood. The rest of the group followed his example and stood back to back near the fire. The Halflings had their swords drawn along with Aragorn, and the five teens had a torch in each hand.

Soon they were surrounded my black figures.

Pippin gulped and took a deep breath, "Here goes nothing," he muttered as he charged toward the nearest wraith, but was easily pushed aside by the black-robed creature.

"Pippin!" merry shouted as he rushed after the hobbit. He too was pushed aside by the rider. The black shapes grew closer to the small group. 

"Aie!" Kassi and Katie called as the charged towards the closest figure, flailing their torches and easily catching the black robes on fire.

The creature let out a chilling scream and turned to run away. Soon everyone had grabbed torches and they were all running towards the wraiths. They were so busy with the threat of the Nazgul that one small hobbit was hardly missed. Looking over towards one of the remaining wraiths, Phill noticed it lunging with its sword. The blade seemed to have pierced nothing but the air until suddenly Frodo appeared on the ground where the wraith had just withdrawn his sword.

Frodo let out a cry and all turned to see him lying on the ground clutching his left shoulder. Alice charged the black rider and swung her torch at it, setting another set of black robes aflame. She turned to face Frodo and saw the three hobbits already surrounding him.

"Strider!" Sam shouted.

Aragorn ran to the small figure lying on the ground. Kneeling, he picked up the sword that had wounded the Halfling. "He's been pierced by a Morgul blade," he said as the blade seemed to disintegrate. "He needs Elfish medicine." He gently picked up the hobbit.

"The wraiths are still out there," Jen said calmly as another scream was heard.

They all quickly packed all that was left lying around and followed Aragorn through the wilderness.

~~~~~~~~~

In the early morning, while the sky was still dark, they reached the trolls that had appeared on Bilbo's journey. Sam walked to where Frodo was lying on the ground and knelt over him. "Look, Mr. Frodo, it's Bilbo's trolls." Frodo's only response was a small gasp and a squeak. "He's going cold!" Sam shouted to their ranger leader.

"Sam, Jen, come here," Aragorn said. "Do you know the athelas plant?"

"I don't even live here, how am I supposed to know what it looks like?" Jen asked slightly annoyed and then walked to where Alice was sitting and sat down beside her.

Aragorn turned back to Sam, "Do you know of it?" he asked.

"Athelas?" Sam questioned.

"It's also called kingsfoil."

"Kingsfoil, yeah, it's a weed," Sam replied.

"It may help slow the poison," and with that Aragorn and Sam ran off into the woods to look for the plant.

The two remaining hobbits stood by Frodo watching him struggling against his wound. "I hope he doesn't die," Pip whispered.

"He's becoming a wraith like them, He will soon pass into the world of shadow," came a voice from behind the hobbits. They turned and saw a dark cloaked shape sitting on the ground nearby. No face could be seen under the hood, which was pulled far down over the face.

"Who are you?" Katie asked standing and walking towards the hobbits.

Standing, the figure advanced, "You know who I am."

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Thank you to Draco girl who was nice enough to review! Yay! Well, you know what to do, just hit that little button down there to let me know what you think. Anything I should do to improve? Just let me know! Hope you all have a wonderful day!!!


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